[分享]：趣味英语——大家一起来~

yoyo575

Part One~

Effie: My aunt was very embarrassed when she was asked to take off her mask at the party. Mary: Why?
Effie: She wasn't wearing one.
译文：
艾菲：当有人在聚会上让我姑姑摘下假面具时，她非常窘迫。
玛丽：为什么？
艾菲：她当时并没有带假面具


Part Two--这是一个脑筋急转弯

Question: At what time of day was Adam born?
Answer: A little before eve.
（亚当在夏娃之前被上帝制造.夏娃(eve)的另一个意思是傍晚.）

Do you understand?


Part Three

Three Reasons
Teacher: Stone, give me three reasons why you know the Earth to be round.
Stone: Ma says so, Pa says so, and you say so!
译文：
三条理由
老师：斯通，说出三条理由来证实地球是圆的。
斯通：妈妈是这么说的，爸爸是这么说的，你也是这么说的！


Part Four

You vs Your boss 你vs老板?


When you take a long time, you're slow.

When your boss takes a long time, he's thorough.

When you don't do it, you're lazy.

When your boss doesn't do it, he's too busy.

When you make a mistake, you're an idiot(蠢货).

When your boss makes a mistake, he's only human.

When doing something without being told, you're overstepping your authority（超越权限）.

When your boss does the same thing, that's initiative(创造性).

When you take a stand（表态）, you're being bull-headed（固执）.

When your boss does it, he's being firm.

When you overlooked a rule of etiquette(礼貌), you're being rude.

When your boss skips a few rules, he's being original(独创的).

When you please your boss, you're arse-creeping(拍马**).

When your boss please his boss, he's being co-operative(合作).

When you're out of the office, you're wandering around.

When your boss is out of the office, he's on business.

When you're on a day off sick, you're always sick.

When your boss is a day off sick, he must be very ill.

When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.

When your boss applies for leave, it 's because he's overworked.

Part Five

UGLY BABY 丑丑的男婴
-------------------??
A middle-aged couple, with two beautiful daughters, decided to try one last time for the son they always wanted.

Soon, the wife became pregnant, and, nine months later, delivered a baby boy. The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son, but was horrified to find an incredibly-ugly baby.

He went to his wife and said, "I cannot possibly be the father of that hideous (丑恶的) child. Look at the two beautiful daughters I fathered."

When his wife blushed(脸红), he became suspicious, and demanded, "Have you been fooling around on me?"

His wife confessed, "Not this time."

studingCAD

看看谁厉害？


教授在教室黑板上写着： 「I will meet the class at 5:00.」（我会在五点来上课）

几个刚到教室的学生看到留 言，就开玩笑地把class的「c」擦掉，变成～
「I will meet the lass at 5:00.」 （我会在五点会见情妇）

　当教授回来看到黑板上的 留言被修改后，他拿起板擦，又把lass的
「l」擦掉，变成～「I will meet the ass at 5:00.」（我会在五点会见驴子）

　　然后对着学生说：「驴 子们，上课了！」

yoyo575

ye,有得币，又有大家的参与， happy!


这个可是很有意思哦，小朋友真聪明~

Can you lend five yuan from it to me?

one day
little son came to mom ask:"how much i worth?"

the mom think a little said:"about 1000000000 and more about it"

when hear this the little son smile:"so, can you lend five yuan from
it to me?"

惠质兰心

The Evils of Liquor
A professor of chemistry wanted to teach his fifth grade class a lesson about the evils of liquor. So, he produced an experiment that involved a glass of water, a glass of whisky, and two worms.
"Now class. Observe closely the worms," said the professor putting a worm first into the water. The worm in the water writhed about, happy as a worm in water could be.
The second worm he put into the the whisky writhed painfully, and quickly sank to the bottom, dead as a doornail.
"Now, what lesson can we derive from this experiment?" the professor asked.
Jack, who naturally sits in back, raised his hand and wisely responded,"It's drunk in whisky!"

                酒的害处
化学教授想给他五年级的学生上一堂关于酗酒有害的课程.于是,他做一个试验:试验包括一玻璃杯水,一玻璃杯威士忌和两条虫子.
"现在,同学们.仔细观察虫子,"教授首先把一条虫子放进水里,虫子在水里扭动着,非常欢快.
他把第二条虫子放进威士忌,虫子痛苦地扭动着,而且很快地沉到了底部,彻底死掉了.
"现在,我们从这个试验中能得出什么教训呢?"教授问.
总坐在后排的杰克举起了手,聪明地回答到:"威士忌把它醉倒了."